so i was quite inspired by the fact that Lisa expresses her feelings here instead of twitter. which is what all of us did last time. well screw whatever that's happening. no actually no. i'm going through a lot in my life and it's kind of sad that i was such a happy girl back then. i was the most hyper girl between all of my friends! and now i'm like this girl who has 1 001 problems and is in need of her friends by her side all the time. i know my friends have better things to do, but they're still here for me. and i'm glad they are. i really am. some of my so called friends walked out on me when i was so so so so down. which, i still am, but well they taught me A LOT. one of 'em is to not have too many best friends because honestly, they're not the best if they leave. now, i came to a conclusion where my best friends are those who's pissed off at me when i'm down but at the same time is still there to calm me down. well actually 2011 have taught me a lot.
first of all, it taught me on how to appreciate things or people while they're still there for you. i moved out from bu2 to bu3 around may last year. yes, i did. and i regret that I did it. but what's the use of regretting? none. so I shall stop regretting and thank God i moved out from that school. there must be good reasons why i'm in bu3. anyway, in that school, sigh.. too much dramas. the whole year was filled with dramas. from this girl to another girl to me to another girl to.. you get the picture. so yeah, if i was still in bu2, i wouldn't know how to handle THAT much dramas. now that i do, i can and will be a better person in future, insyaAllah.
second of all, it taught me on not to fall for your best friend. yes, i fell for my best friend and it did not work out the way i wanted it to be. we're not close at all anymore. we don't talk, at all, anymore. sigh. i miss him as my best friend but oh well i can't do anything about this.
third, it taught me on how i'm supposed to handle people walking out from my life. it's uncountable on number of people that walked out on me. last time, i tried so hardly to be close to the people that walked out on me but now all i can think about is, "if they were my best friends, my close friends, even my friends, why in the world did they walk out on me?" so yeah, to those who walked out on me and refuse to be close to me again, I'm sorry but I will never make it better ever again. it's up to you guys.
fourth, it have taught me to stay as strong as i can though i am soooooo weak but I have to stay strong. i know that some of my friends hate it when i'm down because it brings them down as well. i am so so sorry to my friends that they have to deal with this too. note that i love you guys.
fifth, 2011 seriously taught me on not to fall for guys so easily. i liked sooooo many guys in 2011. which is not good. i guess they were just distractions of mine? hm. maybe? but i don't care. right now, i don't like anyone and i hope it stays this way until i'm done with spm. i hope so.
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