*sigh*

isn't it sad how i skipped school for 2 months++ straight last year just because of my back & leg? it is. and this year i only went to school on the first day of school & 10th of January. sigh. my health is getting worse by day. now it involves my breathing, my kidney/ovaries, my uterus, my stomach. i guess this are all tests from Allah. it shows that He loves me, and He knows I'm strong enough to go through this. He knows what's best for me. I guess if it's that way, I HAVE to be strong. for myself, my family and my friends. I need to get back up on my feet. I need to let lose of some things. I need to start studying like crazy. ok i'm doing that now but still.. I've been saying to myself that i need to be strong and bla bla, trust me, it'll only work for a day or two. the rest, I'll be crying day and night. I need to clear my mind. I have to. There's just too many things on my mind. I can't imagine how sad my parents are because of my health. what I'm sure of is that my dad cries everyday for me *sigh* i can't even.. hm. my mum, she is so so so strong. I know she cries for me everyday too but she just won't admit it to show that she's strong, so I have to be strong for myself. haih, how I wish I'm as strong as she is. I really do. oh well, maybe one day? hm. to who ever that's reading this, please pray for me & my family. thank you.